Scribbled Notes on Shopping Lists.

I scramble through the papers littering my desk, desperate in my attempt to unveil some hidden masterpiece that I can blog about.
Surely I've drawn something in the past two weeks. Some little blob of ink or smudge of charcoal.

I find a note scribbled on the back of a shopping list:
The years slip through my fingers and dance about behind me, playful and teasing, constantly beckoning to come dance and daydream with them for a little while.

I struggle with the idea that I'm supposed to be "different" now that I'm "all grown up." I don't feel different. Okay, so I don't actually spend hours down the park, swinging back and forth and watching the endless stars anymore... but I still dream the same dreams.

And I made birthday cards... so I haven't totally given up on who I am.

Carpe Diem (Oh Captain, My Captain).

It's more than just about seizing the day, it's about realising that rather than looking forward to the future; the someday - you need to just pause for a moment.
I must waste so much of my time almost waiting for my life to begin.

So right now, instead of sleeping while the boys are sleeping in the hopes of retaining my sanity tomorrow, I'm tat tat typing away.

Pause.

I'm eating homemade cookies straight from the oven - because damn if there isn't anything better than that.

It's raining outside, somewhere in the blackness.

And I'm listening to the Holy Grail, by Hunters and Collectors, because it reminds me of invincible young nights down the pub whilst flirting with inevitable disaster.

It's 9pm on a Wednesday.
Oh what a rebel.

Reflecting On the Luckiness of Me.

Tonight's about sitting cross-legged, purring cat in my lap, thinking of everything I'm thankful for.

Most of all the music that permeates through my life; a mismatched wavering soundtrack that keeps my world alive. 

These two boys just melt my heart

as though it's ice-cream on a pancake.

Long Weekends.

I spent the long weekend cuddled up in covers along with my five furry creatures, The Boy, Our Archer, and Doppelgänger, who we borrowed for three companionable nights.

Mmm...

Marshmallows by the fire, the smell of delicious rum, silent fights over blankets while we wasted away our nights on the couch watching shows.
Life in it's simple and pleasurable form.

And on another note, I found some old copic markers, so here's a drawing of a wolf :)

Music From Another Room.

As I sit on the couch, light being slowly leeched from my surroundings, I hear music from another room. Real music, with real instruments, played in conjunction with honest laughter by real musicians.

Lucky doesn't come close to describing how I feel having this in my life, and knowing Our Archer will grow up immersed in it, just like I did.

The Boy and Doppelgänger were joined by their missing member, codename: Guitar Man, and, guided by a few drinks, began compiling some old notes.
Hopefully, with the Guitar Man's permanent return, music will become like air in this house. The way it should be.

I sketched as I listened, feeling comforted by this familiar life.

Good Morning, Winter.

Today I;
collected pinecones to add to my stash of kindling. 

Very much looking forward to lighting the fire for the first time in our new house. I have a romantic clip in my head of lazing on the carpet, glass of something sophisticated in my hand, talking long into the night with only the warm glow of flames to play across our world.

dealt with the bank and tried to remain calm.

Institutions like you to jump through hoops, and there are times I really do wonder, 'is it just for their enjoyment?'

heard that two good friends are breaking up.

Codename: White Mustang and Codename: Nightingale seemed happy. But one of them wasn't. Endings are sad, and cruel, and never fair... and remind me (as selfish as it is) that what I have is constant, ever-changing yet solid. 

Let's Re-Draw!

I have ancient folders pushed aside on my bookshelves, filled with scribbles and sketches from what I snobbishly refer to as, "my youth." Nearly every page of these folders holds a character from my roleplaying days. Many are incomplete or boast a common attribute; person with hands held behind their back - because hands, to a thirteen year old, were an unnecessary challenge :)

A couple of times over the years I've re-visited these characters and drawn them again. I like to see the difference in styles and skill when they're only a few years between remakes, but when it gets up around the ten year mark my progress (or lack-therof) gets me a little down... but, hey, that's what practice is all about!

Anyway, it's all just for a little fun.

"Henna"